Living In Sin: Sexy Is As Sexy Does

Dear Jen,
Am I likely to remain single forever because women might view me as being weak for being on anti-anxiety/anti-psychotic/anti-depressant medications? I know this probably isn't true at all, but please bear with my irrational paranoia.

I know this sounds stupid, but I have actually met some people who think that I really don't need the medications, or that somehow a good long roll in the hay will cure all that biochemical shit in my head...

On the other hand, I’ve met both gay and straight people who maintain relationships while being on any number of medications. What gives?
- Medicated and Single

Dear Medicated,
Considering the fact that forty? fifty? sixty? percent of the population is on some sort of mood-altering drug, there would be an awful lot more people wandering around the video store on Saturday night alone, in their slippers, if what you say is true.

And I don’t know whether or not you should be medicated, but I do know that many people who aren’t, but sorely need to be, are getting laid right and left and they still wash their hands thirty seven times a day. So there goes theory number two.

Your problem isn’t the fact that you’re on medication, your problem is the perception you have about the fact that you’re on medication. Yes, we live in a society that has yet to graduate from high school and move beyond our obsession with being part of the cool crowd (rich, thin, under thirty, mentally and physically fit, popular, perfect, numba one) but the majority of us don’t fit that criteria. And the only ones who’ve found true happiness are the ones who’ve learned to love themselves just the way they are. Take, for example, this woman I saw in a bar the other night with my friend. She had a big fat ass, fleshy arms, a pudgy, dimply face all poured into this revealing little hoochie mama outfit. She was having so much fun and just thought she was the sexiest thing and I will tell you, so did everyone else in that bar. We couldn’t take our eyes off her (and neither could her sad sack, skinny, gorgeous friend). That is the kind of person you want to take your cues from.

So please stop referring to yourself as stupid, irrational and paranoid because people (yourself included) will start to believe you. The sooner you focus on how fabulous you are, the sooner you’ll attract someone who feels the same, regardless of how many pills you choke down each morning.

Comments

[Michael]

Jen,

Great advice. Attitude is everything. "Medicated" can learn to overlook the negative voices of others and herself. It's OK to be on medication. When I struggled with my depression, I also learned it's essential to understand root issues of the condition when it's not all biochemical. I would also advise such people to find a good cognitive therapist. It can work wonders, help one wean off medication, and develop inside what that woman in the bar had apparently discovered--when you think highly of yourself in proper perspective, you become attractive to others. I hope and pray "medicated" will discover this and start attracting the ones she desires.

[Lynda K.]

I just discovered your blog, site via Launching Ladies (loved your interview with China Forbes) and can't wait until I have some time (and a glass of wine) to read the earlier posts. If you have a minute I'd love to have you submit your blog to our directory, Delightfulblogs.com. I like it so much that I'm happy to waive the submission fee. We have thousands of gals who use the directory to discover new blogs to read and I'm sure they will flip to find yours.
best,
Lynda
delight.com
delightfulblogs.com